Ashley Ong, 31, married Jay Son Tan, 34 on 17 June 2023 at Tythe Barn. She wore three dress: a traditional red and gold Qun Kwa, a sleeveless lace dress from Martina Liana from Angelica Bridal in London, and a full-length gold sequin evening gown from Nadine Merabi.
This is part 4 in a series of 6 articles that ask brides who married at this beautiful Oxfordshire wedding venue to reflect on their wedding day fashion choices – with insights that will benefit all readers on the hunt for their wedding dress or wedding day attire. You’ll find the other brides here.
My sister in law was getting married a couple of months before me in Malaysia and I went with her to collect her wedding dress which she had rented, something that is much more common there.
There were lots of rental Qun Kwa on display and we thought I should try one on just to see what it looked like. I felt pretty good in it, so I rented it there and then. It wasn’t pre-planned at all.
www.thetythebarn.co.uk
Just before the tea ceremony we played some ‘door’ games
The groom and his groomsmen came to the farmhouse. When they arrived, my bridesmaids gave them a series of challenges – things like performing a song and dance, eating spicy and sour food, some push ups, nothing too terrible – only after passing these challenges could the groom see the bride.
It’s a really fun thing for everyone to participate in and great fun after the stress of getting ready that morning.
The red of the dress symbolises prosperity and gold is typically for luck
A more traditional version would have had a lot more gold. I really like the contrast of colours on my Kwa and the contrast with the deep blue of my husband’s.
There was no big symbolic meaning, we just thought they looked good together. He was with me and we tried them on together. The tea ceremony was just for family and the bridal party, a symbolic start of the day.
The dress for our civil ceremony was much harder to find. I tried on at least 30 dresses
I did lots of trawling of Instagram first to try to pin down what I liked. But you don’t really know until you get into the bridal shops. I approached dress shopping with a really open mind and ready to try lots of different styles.
I knew the most important thing was to find a dress that I would feel comfortable and confident in. I imagined I would wear quite a flared dress, more mermaid style, and then I realised they are quite difficult to walk in.
www.thetythebarn.co.uk
I knew I’d made the right choice when…
I saw this image of me in the Martina Liana gown. It’s something about the combination of the dress which took so long to find and the moment when we are saying our private vows, just the two of us away from all the guests. It was the point I stopped becoming stressed about anything.
We said the vows under the Willow tree on the farmhouse lawn before going through to the barn for our civil ceremony. It was a last-minute decision to do it but the more we got into wedding planning, the more we felt that this wedding was really for us. It felt like a really sweet sentiment for just the two of us.
It was the Adriana metallic dress by Nadine Merabi, all gold sequins, with an asymmetric shoulder and thigh high split. I knew I wanted it to be long and sparkly and to create a real wow reaction.
It needed to be glamorous but classy too. Once I tried this dress on, I felt sure that it would achieve that. I felt really good in it.
www.thetythebarn.co.uk
I definitely don’t have any regrets, I made good choices for all three dresses
But even if one of them had proven to be not exactly right, I wouldn’t look back with regret because it’s part of the day and I remember it as a whole. I would tell anyone to focus on how the dress makes you feel.
Rather than relying on a list of criteria – thinking a dress has to have ABC – there needs to be something extra special to it – the intangible thing that you may not be able to describe. I would also say, only take people who you really trust shopping with you, they will help to solidify your decisions.’
