Many people think you have to be a writer, well-spoken, or Shakespeare himself to write your own wedding vows. In truth, the only thing you really need to write memorable + heartfelt vows is how much you love your fiancé and why. Our wedding vow writing template and outline take care of the rest. (But, quoting the master playwright is totally allowed.)
To help you write your wedding vows with confidence, we’re sharing our top writing tips, tricks, and examples — as well as a vow template outline with all the essentials (and examples) to get you started. All you need is a pen and paper (okay, okay, a laptop) and a little creativity! Let’s get started.
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Must-Know Details For How to Write Your Wedding Vows
Your wedding vows set the tone for your entire marriage, so it’s important to write vows that truly express your unconditional love for your future spouse. It may take a little time, but it’s time worth taking!
After all, your vows are the backbone of the ceremony. They’re your declarations and promises to one another. Looking back on the big day, you might regret how much time you spent stressing on design details that may go unnoticed, but you’ll never regret sitting down to think about the one you love — and then putting it into words.
So to help you write wedding vows that will make your partner swoon (and even shed a happy tear or two), we’re breaking down all the must-know FAQs about the writing process, including an easy template outline and examples for your speech. Keep scrolling for our complete guide!
How soon should you begin the writing process?
As a general rule of thumb, you should give yourself at least a month (at the very minimum!) to write your wedding vows. This way, you have time to brainstorm, write, edit, and practice your vows before those final “I do’s”.
However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you should start writing your vows a month before the wedding day. The final month of the wedding planning process tends to be the most chaotic, with all the loose ends getting tied up, so it’s better to spread your writing time over several weeks to avoid any last-minute stress.
Ideally, we suggest you start writing your wedding vows between one and three months before the big day. You never want to feel rushed as you write — after all, your wedding vows are the official start of your marriage, so you want to make every word count!
GWS Pro Tip: To make the writing process a little easier, we recommend keeping a journal of ideas, stories, and anecdotes throughout your engagement. This will help you avoid writer’s block once you sit down to write your official vows.
How long should your wedding vows be?
While you might be tempted to pour your heart out in a romantic monologue, the best wedding vows are typically on the shorter side — between 1 to 3 minutes (or around 150 to 450 words). Think of this as the perfect sweet spot for your speech. It’s long enough to express all your love and promises, but short enough to keep everyone in the audience engaged. Remember: you want tears of happiness, not tears of boredom!
If you’re planning a smaller or less formal wedding, you may have some wiggle room to write longer vows, especially if you aren’t sticking to a traditional ceremony script or outline. However, shorter heartfelt vows will always be better than longer generic ones, so focus on quality over quantity!
GWS Pro Tip: We suggest reading your vows aloud before your ceremony to get a better feeling for the length and flow of your speech. Time yourself as you read to ensure you’re inside the 1 to 3 minute window — and tweak as you go along.
Our Best Tips For How to Write Wedding Vows That’ll Wow Your Partner
While there are no “right” or “wrong” ways to write your wedding vows, we wanted to share a few tips to help you put your heart on the page. Let’s get the ideas flowing!
- Tip #1: Reflect on your relationship: What do you love most about your partner? What are your favorite memories together? When did you first know they were the one? These unique details and examples will help you write wedding vows that are heartfelt, meaningful, and just as one-of-a-kind as your love story.
- Tip #2: Be specific: Instead of simply saying “I love you” or “You’re amazing,” write about the specific moments or characteristics that made you fall in love — and stay in love. Examples of this could be something like, “I love the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh,” or “You make every moment feel like an exciting adventure.”
- Tip #3: Make promises: Even if you’re not following a traditional wedding vow template or outline, you should still make certain promises to your partner when writing your vows. These can be big, like supporting each other through thick and thin, or small, like always making their favorite coffee in the morning.
- Tip #4: Reference personal experiences and anecdotes: To make your wedding vows more personal and unique, write about specific memories or stories that define your love story. These could be inside jokes, unforgettable adventures, or moments that made you fall even more in love with your partner.
- Tip #5: But don’t summarize your relationship: While you want to share special moments and examples in your wedding vows, you don’t want to write a summary of your entire relationship. Stick to a couple of key memories that are the most meaningful, rather than writing a lengthy monologue.
- Tip #6: Use pop culture as inspiration: Struggling to write your wedding vows? Get inspo from your favorite (or your partner’s favorite) movies, songs, or TV shows! Is there a show you love to watch together? A rom-com that always makes your partner cry? A lyric in your first dance song that reminds you of your love story? Reference them in your vows!
Speaking of pop culture, are you or your partner a Swiftie? We’ve rounded up our favorite Taylor Swift lyrics to use as inspiration when writing your wedding vows and template!
- Tip #7: Be yourself: Don’t try to be someone you’re not. If you’re not a poet, don’t force it! It’s best to write your wedding vows in your own voice, whether that’s funny, witty, or sentimental. After all, your partner loves you for you, so let your true personality shine through.
- Tip #8: Coordinate with your partner: While you don’t want your partner to see the wedding vows you write — they’re typically kept secret until the ceremony — you do want to be on the same page. Set expectations about the length, tone, and how personal you want your vows to be. This way, all the surprises will be good ones!
- Tip #9: Practice, practice, practice: After writing your wedding vows, practice reading them aloud to get comfortable with the flow, delivery, and timing. We also suggest trying to memorize them — this way, you can be more present with your partner during the ceremony. (Although you should still write them in a wedding vow book just to be safe!)
- Tip #10: Write and rewrite: Don’t be afraid to revise your wedding vows. Writing is a process, and your first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. Edit your words until they truly capture your feelings. This is another reason it’s important to start early!
GWS Pro Tip: If you don’t love the idea of reading your vows in front of everyone at your wedding, you can always exchange them during your first look or after the ceremony — or even on your honeymoon! This is a great idea if your vows are extra long or extra personal. You can even recite a condensed version for the ceremony, then save the rest for a more private moment. It’s totally up to you!
How to Write Wedding Vows That Are Truly Personalized (And Avoid Sounding Generic)
If you want to write wedding vows that are truly personalized, skip the generic phrases and instead focus on what makes your relationship one-of-a-kind. This isn’t the time to worry about perfect quotes or fancy words…it’s the genuine emotions and unique thoughts that will make your vows stand out.
So instead of writing, “You complete me,” use your wedding vows as an opportunity to share what your partner means to you using more specific words. What are the moments, characteristics, and feelings that make your relationship so special?
For more ideas about how to write unique and heartfelt wedding vows, we’ve created a step-by-step template outline (plus examples) that you can use as a jumping-off point. Let’s start writing, shall we?
Step-by-Step Template Outline – How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows (With Examples)
We get it: trying to capture all your love, memories, and emotions in 400 words or less can feel downright impossible. That’s why we’ve broken the process down into an easy 6-step template outline with examples, so you can write one-of-a-kind wedding vows that will have everyone in tears (including your soon-to-be-spouse). Cue the waterworks!
Step 1: Set Your Intention
Instead of trying to summarize your entire love story into a single speech, we suggest setting an intention when writing your wedding vows. This will give your vows a clear focus and help you express your deepest thoughts and emotions.
To set your intention, select five words that mean the most to you in your relationship. These words should define the essence of your love story, including what first drew you to your partner and why you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Think about the values you share, your hopes and dreams as a couple, and the future you’re building together. We’ve included a few ideas in the list above!
Before starting your wedding vows, write these five words down at the top of the page to use as an anchor for the rest of your outline. Feel free to set them aside for now — we’ll come back to them later!
Step 2: Gather Your Thoughts With Writing Prompts
Time to get to writing! Copy and paste the prompts above into a new document (or page) and spend a little bit of time journaling about each one. Have fun with it and don’t force anything — the right answer should come easily and quickly as you write.
This also isn’t the time to worry about grammar or structure. Let your thoughts and words flow freely without deleting or re-writing. The answers you write to these prompts will help you craft personal and meaningful wedding vows. Editing comes later!
- How I felt when we first met:
- How I knew it was forever:
- What I love about my partner:
- What my partner loves about me:
- What makes us laugh:
- What makes us tick:
- What I see in our future:
- How I’ll help us get there:
- Five things I promise:
Do you love your partner’s resilience or the way they can make you laugh even on the most terrible days? Do both get excited about the same hobbies or music? Do you see a future filled with travel and adventure, or are you looking forward to settling down and starting a family? This “brain dump” will help you gather all your thoughts for the next step in the writing process…
Step 3: Write a First Draft Of Your Wedding Vows With Our Vow Template Outline
Now that you’ve got the content out of your mind and onto the page, you can start writing the first draft of your wedding vows!
This loose 3-part template will help you write a quick outline for your wedding vows — and you can fill in the rest as you go. Here’s how to get started:
- Start at the beginning of your relationship up to now. What did it feel like when you first got together? What initially drew you to your partner? How has your relationship evolved since then? Begin your wedding vows by writing about these thoughts, feelings, and memories.
- Share a short and meaningful anecdote. Is there a specific story or moment that really defines your relationship? This could be your meet-cute, your proposal, or the first time you said “I love you.” Don’t be afraid to include a little humor or a fun inside joke as you’re writing your anecdote — this will make your wedding vows truly stand out!
- Finish with your promises to your partner. Go beyond the traditional wedding promises (ie: “in sickness and in health”) and instead write down the vows that reflect your unique relationship. Do you promise to always support their wild dreams? To always give them the last bite of food? To never stop slow-dancing in the kitchen together?
While this isn’t the only outline for writing your wedding vows, this template is a great way to structure your thoughts in a concise and meaningful format. From there, you have the freedom to make your vows your own.
Wedding Vows Examples Using Our Vow Template Outline
Let’s put these ideas into action! To help you write your unique wedding vows, we created two examples using the template outline above. You can use these examples as inspo when writing your vows for your wedding — just be sure to swap out any details with your own personal anecdotes, stories, and heartfelt thoughts.
Vows Example #1: How to Write Sentimental Wedding Vows
Get those tissues ready, because this example of sentimental wedding vows is a tear-jerker! We used the template outline above to write these wedding vows, subbing in a few unique details as examples of how to personalize your speech. If you want your vows to be heartfelt, thoughtful, and ultra-romantic, then look no further!
From the moment I met you, I knew you were special. Your kindness, your laughter, and your unconditional love have been my anchor. I love how you always know how to make me smile, even on my toughest days, and how you never fail to surprise me with your thoughtfulness.
When you first said “I love you,” I knew I had found my person. You brought us to the park where we met, and I felt the same butterflies from that very first date…the same butterflies I feel right now, ready to say “I do.”
I promise to hold onto those butterflies for the rest of our lives together. I promise to cherish every moment we share, from the quiet mornings to the late-night talks to the afternoon walks in the park. I promise to be your constant support, your biggest fan, and your partner in all of life’s adventures.
As we embark on this new chapter together, I promise to love you more each year, to grow with you, and to make you smile on those tough days. You are my everything, and I can’t wait to spend forever with you.
Vows Example #2: How to Write Funny Wedding Vows
Alright, now it’s time to lighten the mood with this example of funny wedding vows! We used the template outline above to write wedding vows that blend humor and heart, so you can make your partner laugh — while still conveying your love. Bring on the wedding puns!
When we first met, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. I finally found someone who laughed at all my terrible jokes! Since then, we’ve made a million inside jokes together, and I can’t wait to make a million more.
In fact, our first ever inside joke was the moment I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Remember when we got lost on that hike together, and you insisted you knew the way, only for us to end up back at the parking lot three hours later? That’s when I realized that with you, life would always be an adventure…even if we sometimes take the scenic route.
I promise to follow you anywhere, even if we end up walking in circles, because every moment with you is worth it. I also promise to never stop making you laugh, even if it means resorting to my cheesy dad jokes. Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey. Sorry, I had to!
As we start our next adventure, I vow to be your biggest fan, your best friend, and your forever partner in this beautiful, messy, amazing life we’re building together. I love you more than words can express, and I can’t wait to laugh our way through the rest of our lives.
Step 4: Review and Condense The Wedding Vows You’ve Written
Once you’ve written the first outline and draft of your wedding vows, it’s time to edit! To start, reference those five words you selected in step one. Does your draft align with those sentiments and values? How can you use those five ideas to take your vows to the next level?
Second, trim it up. Your wedding vows are most likely longer than you thought they’d be, so scan through your writing and take out any unnecessary words or repetitive phrases. Not sure if they’re too long? Read the vows aloud and time yourself. Remember not to exceed 3 minutes!
Finally, try writing a few more drafts of your wedding vows. You may find your stride settles in on the second or third time around. It can also be helpful to step away from your wedding vows for a day or two — this gives you a fresh perspective when you come back to write your second draft.
GWS Pro Tip: If you’re comfortable, ask a trusted friend or family member to review your vows (or listen to you read them out loud). They can offer valuable feedback and help you identify any areas that might need tweaking. A second opinion never hurts!
Step 5: Add the Finishing Touches
Now that you’ve finished writing your wedding vows (using our template outline, of course!), it’s time for the most important part. Saying your vows is ALL in the delivery, so it’s important to practice reading them aloud as many times as possible. Speak slowly and with intention, and keep an eye out for any awkward phrases or wordy sections.
Not only is reading your writing out loud great for tweaking and editing your vows, but it’ll also help you feel more prepared for the wedding day. Take this time to practice your pacing…it’s easy to rush through your vows, but your partner (and wedding guests) will want to savor the words you’ve written!
We also suggest writing the final draft of your wedding vows in a cute vow template book. This looks way better than reading them off your phone — plus, it also doubles as a special memento from the wedding day! It’s something you can keep and even use down the road for a vow renewal. A promise is a promise, and this is one you’ll want to hang on to ’til the end of time.
GWS Pro Tip: While it’s always a good plan to write your wedding vows in a vow book, we also recommend trying to memorize your speech before the ceremony. This way, you can focus on looking into your partner’s eyes as you express your love and promises, rather than staring down at a journal the entire time.
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Step 6: Share Your Wedding Vows On The Big Day
And finally, the moment you’ve been waiting for…it’s time to say the wedding vows you’ve written! Try to be present in the moment, speak slowly, and don’t worry if you start to tear up — it’s all part of the experience.
We hope these tips, examples, and template outline help you write wedding vows that are uniquely you. Happy writing!
Plan The Dreamiest “I Do’s” With Our Most Loved Planning Guides
Now that you have our tips and template outline for how to write your own wedding vows, let’s dive into the rest of your wedding planning checklist!
Starting with your wedding day soundtrack. To help you choose songs that are just as beautiful as the vows you’ve written, we’ve rounded up our favorite songs to walk down the aisle to, plus the best recessional songs for an unforgettable ceremony exit.
And in addition to writing your own wedding vows, you can also personalize your wedding with a unique and meaningful ceremony — check out some of our favorite creative ideas here!
Finally, make your ceremony pop with our list of gorgeous wedding aisle decor ideas, as well as these unique wedding programs. They’re the perfect finishing touches for your big day!
Do you have any other questions about our vow writing template outline — or any tips for writing your own wedding vows? Let us know in the comments below!