If you’re ready to put a ring on it — but aren’t ready to say “I do” — let us introduce you to an often-overlooked gem in the jewelry world: promise rings! While promise rings may conjure up images of teenagers and young romance, they can actually be a meaningful symbol for all different types of couples and relationships. But what exactly is the meaning behind a promise ring, and how do you know if it’s right for your relationship?
Below, we’re answering all your burning questions about this romantic gesture (with the help of our friends at Plum Diamonds and James Allen) — from the history behind promise rings to the various “rules” and meanings surrounding them. Keep scrolling for our complete guide!
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What Is a Promise Ring – The Full Meaning Behind These Rings
While the meaning of a promise ring isn’t the same for all couples, it typically represents your love, commitment, and fidelity to your partner. As the name suggests, it’s a promise to stay loyal and devoted to your relationship for the years to come.
“A promise ring can come from either partner and symbolizes the promise of a future together,” says Kristy Cullinane, the Co-Founder of Plum Diamonds. “Most couples exchange promise rings because they eventually want to get engaged and then married. Others intend to buck tradition and wear promise rings in lieu of wedding and engagement rings. The only thing that matters is what the ring signifies to each partner in the relationship.”
So what’s the story behind a promise ring’s meaning? Couples have been exchanging rings for centuries to represent their eternal love for each other, with ancient Romans giving each other rings as a promise before marriage. In the 15th to 17th centuries, love birds in England and France upped the ante with posy rings, which were engraved with love poems and were used to show their affection and devotion to each other. Today, that tradition lives on with promise rings!
GWS Pro Tip! While they commonly get mixed up, a promise ring does not have the same meaning as a purity ring. A promise ring symbolizes your love and commitment to your partner, while a purity ring shows that you’re waiting until marriage to have sex. These meanings may overlap for your promise ring, but ultimately they are not the same.
Who are promise rings best for?
When you think of promise rings, you might think of lovesick teenagers — but these rings can actually hold meaning for all different types of couples.
As Cullinane explains, “It’s a sweet tradition that’s more popular among younger clients who are perhaps waiting to get officially engaged until they feel totally ready to make the plunge. They may be holding off for financial security, to finish school, or for a number of other milestones.”
However, these aren’t the only couples who use these rings as a meaningful symbol for their relationship.
“More mature couples may share promise rings in lieu of an engagement ring, especially if they aren’t interested in actually getting married down the road,” says Cullinane. “Many women in relationships after a divorce, for example, who don’t want to remarry, may opt for a promise ring.”
At the end of the day, there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to the meaning of promise rings or who they’re best for. If it feels right for your relationship, then we say go for it!
GWS Pro Tip! For some, promise rings aren’t even a romantic gesture. According to Lorraine Brantner, the Director of Sales and Service at James Allen, “Promise rings can also be personal, symbolizing an individual’s special promise to themselves and providing a daily reminder of their goal.” It’s called treating yourself!
Are promise rings a promise of marriage at some point in the future?
While promise rings can mean that you want to get engaged in the future, they don’t have to be a direct promise of marriage.
For some couples, these rings are a way to show that you’re heading toward marriage, but that you aren’t ready to pop the question just yet. Think of it as a stepping stone to a bigger commitment — it says that you’re serious about your future together and want to keep building on your relationship until you reach that next chapter.
However, for other couples, a promise ring is more about the here and now. It’s a way to celebrate your love and loyalty without the pressure of ceremony plans. Maybe you want to mark an important milestone (such as an anniversary or special event) or to solidify your partnership. “A promise ring can still signify a lifetime bond and commitment to one another,” says Cullinane.
Is a promise ring a serious thing?
Yes, promise rings are a serious thing — while they may not have the same meaning as an engagement ring, they’re still a symbol of your love, commitment, and devotion to your partner. And that carries some serious emotional weight!
As we mentioned above, a promise ring often means that you’re headed toward marriage together, even if you’re not ready at this very moment. And marriage aside, you still shouldn’t give someone a promise ring just because. It represents a serious partnership, rather than a more casual or temporary relationship. So be sure to think it through before you put that ring on your partner’s finger!
What is a good length of time in a relationship to give a promise ring?
There’s no hard-and-fast rule for when to give a promise ring, and you can theoretically give your partner a ring after any length of time. But since these rings do carry so much meaning, it’s best to wait until you are sure that you’re in it for the long haul. For some couples that may be six months into the relationship, while for others it may take a little longer.
If you’re worried about timing, here’s a good rule of thumb to follow: give your partner a promise ring when you’ve been together long enough to know it’s serious, but you still want to take your time before embarking on the next big chapter (aka, walking down the aisle). It’s about marking a meaningful moment in your love story!
Are promise rings supposed to be a surprise?
Promise rings can be a surprise, but they don’t have to be! It really depends on your relationship and what feels right for both of you. If your partner loves surprises and grand gestures, then surprising them with a ring is a fun and romantic way to show your love.
On the flip side, some couples prefer to talk about the meaning behind a promise ring before taking this next step. Discussing it beforehand ensures that both of you are on the same page about what it means for the future of your relationship — whether that’s a marriage someday, or something else.
GWS Pro Tip! If your partner might mistake a surprise promise ring for a wedding proposal, it may be better to discuss it beforehand to avoid any confusion about your intentions. This is especially true if your promise ring resembles a traditional diamond ring!
Do both partners wear promise rings?
Again, our answer is: it depends! While some couples like the idea of both partners wearing a ring as a symbol of their mutual commitment, others prefer to give a single ring as a gesture to their other half, without expecting anything in return. It ultimately comes down to your unique relationship and the meaning behind the promise ring (or rings).
What are the rules for promise rings?
The best thing about promise rings? There aren’t any strict rules! Promise rings are all about the personal meaning you attach to them, so you have plenty of freedom to create your own “rules” or guidelines.
That said, there are a few things to consider before giving your partner a promise ring, from the style of the ring to what hand to wear it on. To help you create the guidelines that feel right for your relationship, we’re breaking down a few more common promise ring FAQs down below!
What hand and finger do you wear a promise ring on?
While there are no rules about how to wear a promise ring, most people wear them on the ring finger of their left hand — especially if the meaning behind the ring is a future marriage. With this placement, the ring acts as a placeholder for a different ring in the future.
On the other hand (literally!), some people prefer to avoid the “engaged” connotations and instead wear their ring on their right hand. This lets you showcase your commitment without anyone assuming you’re engaged or married.
You could also mix it up by wearing your promise ring on a different finger or even on a chain around your neck, depending on the meaning of the ring. We’re seeing more and more people wear these rings on their pinky fingers — like a romantic pinky promise for their relationship!
GWS Pro Tip! Wondering how to wear your promise ring after you get married (if that is the ultimate goal in your relationship)? While you can always switch the ring to your right hand, we also love the idea of incorporating your promise ring into your wedding ring stack. This is a beautiful way to represent all the different phases of your relationship on one blinged-out finger!
What is a promise ring supposed to look like?
Promise rings can look like any style, from traditional diamond bands to unique birthstone rings — it all comes down to your personal taste and the meaning behind the ring. While promise rings are typically smaller and simpler than a classic diamond ring, the finished look is totally up to you!
As Brantner says, “Promise rings often feature smaller diamonds and gemstones set low on the finger. This differentiates them from the traditional engagement ring appearance and allows the couple to ‘upgrade’ the size of the ring” if and when they officially get engaged.
To choose a ring that holds meaning for your relationship, keep scrolling for more common styles that are popular for promise rings!
Popular + Trending Promise Ring Styles
So, what styles of promise rings are currently trending with modern couples? “Anything goes, but we’re seeing wider bands, three-stone rings, and lab diamonds,” says Cullinane. To help you narrow down the best ring for your relationship, here are a few popular and trending designs to use as inspo!
- Classic Bands: An understated gold or platinum band is a timeless way to represent your commitment. Add some dainty diamonds for a touch of sparkle, or choose a unique style (like the “clasped hands” ring above!) to symbolize the meaning behind the promise ring.
- Gemstone Rings: While diamonds are a classic choice for a promise ring, other gemstones can represent different meanings for your ring. For example, you can combine both of your birthstones to symbolize the joining of your lives. However, Cullinane advises couples to choose their gemstones carefully. “I’d stay away from very soft stones like pearls, opals, or moonstones because they are prone to damage.”
- Hearts and Symbols: If you want to put the meaning of your promise ring front and center, choose a design with a significant symbol — such as a heart, a knot, or an infinity sign. These designs are super popular for promise rings because they symbolize eternal love, unity, and commitment.
- Engraved Rings: Take inspo from vintage posy rings and get your promise ring personalized with a special engraving that holds meaning for your relationship. This could be your initials, a special date, or even a meaningful phrase, like “forever and always.” So romantic!
GWS Pro Tip! If you’re giving your partner a promise ring as a surprise, Cullinane has some tips for finding a style they’re guaranteed to love. “If you don’t feel comfortable asking, check with their friends or see if you can spy on their Pinterest board,” she says. “If you’re still not having luck, talk to a jeweler you can trust and who has great taste!”
Birthstone rings make for gorgeous personalized promise rings with a special meaning — and we’ve rounded up some of our faves here!
Cost Breakdown: What is the typical amount you should expect to spend on a promise ring?
Since there are so many different styles of promise rings, the cost can vary depending on materials, design, and where you shop. Typically, you can expect to spend anywhere from $50 to $1,500 on a promise ring, with more luxurious designs costing $2,000 and more.
If you’re looking for more budget-friendly rings, we suggest choosing understated designs (such as a classic gold band) or swapping diamonds for different gemstones. This is a great option if you’re saving for a more expensive ring in the future, or if you’re currently on a tight budget.
On the other end of the spectrum, diamond-studded bands, larger gemstones, and more intricate designs are perfect for couples who want to splurge on their ring. Maybe you see this ring as your forever ring, or you really want to spoil your partner with something luxurious.
Ultimately, how much you spend on your promise ring is based on your budget, your relationship, and the meaning of the ring!
The Best Spots to Get a Meaningful Ring
So, what are the best shops for finding promise rings that hold meaning for your relationship? Below, we’re sharing our top spots for every budget and style, so you can easily find your dream ring!
- Etsy: With seemingly endless options for gorgeous promise rings — all created by independent artisans and small businesses — Etsy is one of the best spots to find unique designs with special meanings. From dazzling diamond rings to one-of-a-kind engraved bands, they truly have something for everyone!
- Plum Diamonds: If you’re looking for more traditional and luxurious rings, Plum Diamonds has you covered. This is where you can find stunning diamond bands for every style and meaning, as well as more understated rings featuring lab-grown stones and recycled metals.
- Catbird: Sustainably made in their Brooklyn studio, Catbird’s rings are equal parts timeless and trendy. We love their rad dainty designs (like this chain ring or this braided “lovers” ring), as well as their bold and beautiful bling (like this diamond stunner or this gemstone beauty). And as a bonus, most of Catbird’s jewelry is made with recycled gold and diamonds. We love to see it!
Our Top 3 Favorite Designs
Looking for more inspo for your ring? To help you find the one, we’re sharing three of our favorite promise rings from different shops, each with a unique style or meaning. Let’s get into it, shall we?!
1: Swan Lake Diamond Ring
Designed by the geniuses at Catbird, this dazzling ring features a row of ethically sourced diamonds set in 100% recycled solid 14k gold. And the sparkle is seriously next-level!
If you’re looking for a promise ring that shines as bright as your love story — without immediately giving “engaged” vibes — this is the one for you. Choose between four different metals for a custom look, and prepare for major compliments!
2: Blossoming Leaves Diamond Ring
Another diamond beauty, this promise ring from James Allen has THE most romantic meaning. Aptly named the “Blossoming Leaves” ring, the design resembles a growing vine or a blooming tree. Pretty perfect for your blossoming love story, amiright?!
We also love the marquise lab-grown diamonds on this ring — they truly look like sparkly leaves! Such a beautiful way to symbolize the growth of your dazzling relationship.
3: Duo Gemstone Heart-Shaped Ring
Speaking of promise rings with a romantic meaning, this gemstone design from Etsy really takes the cake. It combines two gemstones (which you can personalize depending on your birth months) into one heart-shaped design. SO perfect for you and your other half!
And for under $50, it’s a romantic gesture that won’t break the bank. It doesn’t get better than that.
Do you get on your knee for a promise ring?
Typically, most people do not get down on one knee when giving their partner a promise ring, since this gesture is associated with a traditional proposal. However, what you do to present your promise ring is totally up to you!
If you want to make the moment extra significant, getting down on one knee is definitely a memorable way to give your partner their ring. Just be sure they know your intentions beforehand so that you don’t run into any confusion about what the ring means. After all, you don’t want them to think you’re proposing marriage if you’re not!
For a more low-key approach, you can also wait for a romantic moment and simply hand over the ring while expressing your feelings and its meaning. This could be anything from a fancy anniversary dinner to a romantic walk on the beach to a quiet night at home. The key is to make the moment meaningful to you and your relationship!
GWS Pro Tip! If the promise ring is just a stepping stone to a future marriage, we suggest saving this gesture for your official proposal. Getting down on one knee twice can take some of the magic away from the moment, so stick to a more understated approach for the promise ring. The grand event can come later!
From Promise Rings to Popping the Question, We’ve Got You Covered
Now that you know the meaning behind promise rings, are you ready to take that next step? For more of our favorite places to find rings, check out this list of the best jewelry brands and shops for every style and budget.
And if you’re looking for a romantic way to give your partner the ring, also don’t miss our round-up of dreamy proposal ideas. We’ve rounded up ideas for every style, from grand gestures to more low-key approaches.
Love the meaning behind promise rings, but want to make your relationship even more official? Take a deep dive into our complete wedding planning guide before you pop the question!
What do you think about promise rings and their meaning? Let us know in the comments below!
